The Beautiful Letdown.

When I really think about it, whether I continually recognize this in my life or not, the truth is certainly clear: There are very few things in my life that are certain. Secure, safe, permanent, sure, true…. whichever word you prefer. What do you have that you know will never change? What do you have that you know will never leave? Probably not much. Maybe even nothing.

People change. People lie, cheat, steal, abandon, hurt, handicap…. you name it. As honest as some people’s intentions might be, you can never be sure that a human being will never leave you, or never change.

Places change. The place you call home now might suddenly become so strange and foreign to you that you never want to associate yourself with it again. You might spend your entire life traveling the earth, and never find where you want to be. You might never find a place that makes you happy, a place where you want to stay.

Circumstances change. However content you might be at this moment, your entire world can be thrown out of orbit in just a matter of seconds. Death, disease, abuse, abandonment, disaster…. you can never know what’s coming. You can only hope and pray.

You change. Your heart, your opinions, your mind, your body, your feelings, your everything. Compare yourself to who you were five years ago. Ten. Twenty. Can you even identify that person of the past, as yourself? Didn’t think so.

Right now, God has placed me in a world where I know nothing I want to know. Nothing that I feel like I need to know. My mom asks me what my plans are for tomorrow, and I can’t tell her. I don’t know where I’ll wake up tomorrow. I don’t know if I’ll wake up in agonizing physical pain. I don’t know if I’ll wake up with a breaking heart. I don’t know if I’ll have the mental ability to have a conversation tomorrow. I don’t know who will stand by me and who will leave. I don’t know who will be angry at me or why. I don’t. Know.

As unstable as my life circumstances are right now, and as insecure as I might be, God has revealed to me during the past few days a few things that I CAN know for certain.

God is with me. God loves me. God must be trusted. God is strong. And God is in control.

That’s all I know, and I am slowly learning to be ok with that. I have to accept what I can’t understand, and day by day, moment by moment, do my best to trust His plan. Do my best to honor Him with my words, actions, thoughts, emotions, decisions…. everything. I want and need and must give Him everything.

Literally, I have one thing for sure. One thing for certain. One thing that will remain the same. One thing that will never leave me, nor forsake me. One thing that is one hundred percent true.

That thing is Christ.

And I believe that there is a reason why He’s all I have. He’s shouting at me through my pain and my confusion: “I AM ALL YOU NEED!” That is why He is all I have…. because He is proving to me that He can be trusted. He is all I need. With nothing left to cling to, He is there. He is God. The rest…. the details, the future, the present, the past…. they don’t matter. They are all meaningless nonsense compared to this one truth.

Christ. Christ. Christ. Christ.

It’s only one word. It shouldn’t be so hard for me to remember. Life really isn’t as complicated as I and other people paint it to be, because Christ is my life.

Think about it. What do you know that is certain? What can you always know for sure? What is there in this life that is worthy to be trusted? What do you know in this life to be true?

I have something. And I’m so relieved. I can have peace, I can have faith, I can have security, I can have certainty. If I didn’t have Christ, I would have no life and no reason to live. But, wow, what a great reason to live! What an awesome God to serve. What an amazing truth and peace to hold, deep in my heart, forever and ever.

I want everyone to know about this one, all-sufficient, certain Truth that I have: Jesus Christ.

Hallelujah, all I have is Christ! Hallelujah, Jesus is my life.